The realisation came to me recently that either I or the rest of humanity are slowly sliding out of control. Before you start calling the men in white coats with giant butterfly nets, I don’t think it’s me who’s “the only one marching in step”. I mean: I haven’t heard any disembodied voices urging me to do strange things, at least not since my last cold-call from a telemarketwhore; my assertions about reality are generally backed up with evidence rather than anecdotes, even in the presence of alcohol; and my delusions of grandeur are severely tempered by the lukewarm reaction to my pleas for help buying a fridge. Maybe that last one’s for the best: no well-stocked fridge means less temptation to nibble, so my attempts to achieve a more sylph-like, less teapotty, shape may actually produce results.
Anyway, the seething cauldron of antiscience (the spellcheck says ‘antisense’ and I’d buy that too) that pervades the dreaded Huffington Post convected up an absolute fucking gem from among the many wootards present. I name and shame (oh, if only it could shame a little sense into people like him) because he’s actively promoting this… this… Well, basically, it’s voodoo acupuncture with a toy hammer. I present the whole thing as-is, because handling this much high-concentration batshit crazy requires special equipment, such as a WTF-seeking nuclear warhead.
David4FreePress
I am a volunteer, Tong Ren distant energy healer.There is a completely safe and much more palatable alternative to acupuncture on children. It is Tong Ren distant energy healing. The word ‘distant’ means that there is no contact or even close proximity to the patient, thereby reducing even apprehension. Tong Ren uses a plastic doll that is tapped with a magnetic hammer on the acupuncture points to be used. Thus, any acupuncturist can use this method while employing treatment points chosen from their own knowledge and experience. The intent of the practitioner to connect to the patient stimulates energy flow in the patient at the same points being tapped. Parents can perform the therapy, once they know the tapping points, and save on acupuncture visits, which means that Tong Ren is not popular with acupuncturists.
This is not a commercial posting. Tong Ren is incredibly empowering. It is not based upon any proprietary knowledge or technology. People can self treat very easily and cheaply. This is probably why our profit fueled healthcare (illness-profit) system does not like it. That alone should be a sufficient endorsement for patients to take a look at it on their own.
So the next time somebody rips the head off a Barbie doll, is it because they hate the bloody thing or because they’re trying to cure your headache? This is, to steal a phrase from one of my favourite writers, beyond the realms of WTF. Notice that this is claimed to be a therapy, presumably for something other than a hatred of bloody stupid dolls promoting unrealistic body shapes and pink-ridden, dimwit lifestyles. Notice the use of sCAM fave buzzwords “magnetic”, “energy” and “empowering”.
Empower. I despise that word: not only because it’s ugly, but also because nearly every time I see it, it’s selling a lie. “Empowered” is what people get when they have the illusion of being in control. When you are ill it can be frightening to feel you’ve lost control of your life, especially when it’s something life-threatening or disabling. This is the wedge that sCAMsters use to insinuate themselves into people’s wallets: regain control of your life! No matter that it’s not always entirely possible, or that so much could be cleared up with a decent chat over a cup of tea with a health professional, if only the health budget allowed it. And between you and me, if all the cash that was poured into pseudoscientific, many-times-debunked mumbo-jumbo masquerading as “therapy” or, worse, real medicine was redirected into extra consultation time and counselling for the chronically and seriously ill, that would buy a helluva lot of cups of tea and a wide choice of biscuits.
And now I’ve got this bouncy little number stuck in my head. I think it’s fairly indicative of just how much this Tong Ren WTFuckery creeps me out.
Related articles
- HuffPo now has a science section, and I remain skeptical that it changes anything. (scienceblogs.com)
- Tong Ren: An unholy union of acupuncture and voodoo. (scienceblogs.com)
#WCTB for all!
