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A little light relief today. I found a homeopathy website daft enough to put up a FAQ and thought I’d give them a hand by proofreading and correcting the answers, which I have shortened to the most relevant paragraph in each case, or we’d be here all bloody week. The thick layer of misleading, or downright false, statements laced with pseudoscientific WTF is fairly typical of what you’ll find all over the Internet. This bunch are in Canada (see end of article for link) and I have no idea if they have the right to call their products ‘medicines’ or claim to treat specific medical conditions. Those in a position to complain to the appropriate authorities might want to check it out. Close examination of the site will also reveal the barely-dissimulated intention of scaring marks away from real medicine and locking them into the homeopathy cult. Again, this is par for the course.
Corrections are in red.
What is Homeopathy?
Homeopathy means “similar medicine feeling.” A classical homeopath prescribes a homeopathic remedy based on the homeopathic principle that “like cures like” – that is, a substance that would cause symptoms in a healthy person is used to cure treat those same symptoms in illness, except that no trace of the active ingredient remains in the ‘remedy’. For example, one homeopathic remedy which might be used in a person suffering from insomnia is coffea, a remedy nominally made from coffee.
How Popular is Homeopathy?
Homeopathy is the leading alternative medicine used by Europeans, mostly FAMEs (Female, Affluent, Middle-Aged, Educated). Homeopathy appears is not to be responsible for the well-being of the French, who are ranked #1 in the world in the performance of their science-based, State-run health care system. Homeopathy is not taught or recognised as a qualification in any French medical or pharmaceutical school. L’Académie de médecine discourages its use, as does the French Ministry of Health. Unfortunately, Boiron is a French company and its size suggests it has political clout. In France, 40% [Citation needed] of the population uses homeopathic medicines and around 30% [Citation needed: this seems extremely unlikely as my calculations show under 14%] of physicians prescribe them. Americans, most of whom do not use homeopathy, rank #37 in the performance of their costly, privatised health care system.
How are Homeopathic Medicines Prepared?
This particular seller’s pills are made by grinding a very small amount of the original substance (usually a plant, mineral or animal) for many hours with a mortar and pestle in milk sugar lactose, a process called trituration. The triturated mixture is then repeatedly diluted and shaken (succussed) for hours or days, depending on the potency or strength of the remedy. This process of diluting and succussing is called potentization. The potentized homeopathic medicine ‘remedy’ is then added to lactose tablets or pills. Lactose-free remedies are also available to those who are allergic to lactose.
How do Homeopathic Medicines Work?
The Dilutions and Memory of Water Theory…bla bla…The structure of water…bla bla…Molecular clusters…bla bla…Highly Diluted Substances Exert an Effect…bla bla…Positive outcomes in 75% of studies…bla bla…Luc Montaignier…bla bla…References…bla bla… It’s called the placebo effect.
Do Studies Prove that Homeopathy is Effective?
Yes, there are many studies that prove the effectiveness of homeopathy, as well as its safety and cost-effectiveness. Studies also show that homeopathy is often effectiveness after orthodox treatment has failed. No reliable studies have shown any effectiveness for any condition.
Is Homeopathy Placebo?
Many people who are not educated about homeopathy believe that homeopathy pills are just sugar (placebo) pills. Yes.They don’t understand how homeopathic medicines are made, have not been educated on the scientific explanation of how our medicines work, and are not aware of the numerous scientific studies proving the effectiveness of homeopathy. Anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is bullshitting you. Homeopathy is a belief system, not a science.
What does Homeopathy Treat?
Homeopathy is a truly holistic form of healing. Our remedies stimulate the body/mind to heal itself. It therefore has had a lot of success in treating a wide variety of ailments such as: Having more money than sense.
Do You Treat Children?
Yes, we do children’s homeopathic consultations for money. We also treat babies, including newborns for money. We at Little Mountain Homeopathy believe that the earlier a child starts using homeopathy, the better for our profits. Once a parent starts relying on homeopathy for their children, they can be persuaded to start to rely less on traditional medicine and we will make even more money. Many traditional methods of treating children, such as steroids creams for the skin or inhalers for asthma, will only suppress relieve the child’s symptoms, which may be life-threatening and/or painful or disfiguring. Using traditional methods, the health problem typically will not go away, and over time it will probably get worse, requiring stronger and stronger pharmaceutical medications. Traditional medications may also have side effects, because they actually have an effect, whereas our medication has no side effects because it has no effect. Our medicines get to the root of the problem, and With luck, over time, the problem will subside naturally and we can claim it was our work.
What to Expect from an Initial Consultation?
The initial consultation lasts approximately two hours, so it will cost you. During the consultation, the homeopath will ask a series of questions to try to determine which remedy is most suitable for you. In homeopathy, there are many remedies for the same disease. Therefore, the homeopath is most interested in what sets you apart from everyone else. The things that are unique about you are the things that guide the homeopath to your remedy. Since we are treating the whole person, everything about you is important to us, subscribe to bizarre notions like miasma rather than scientifically proven concepts like germ theory, we will want to know weird stuff such as personal details and dreams. The more we know about you and the details of your symptoms, the easier it is for us to determine your remedy.
Do you do Online or Telephone Consultations?
We do online homeopathic consultations via Skype or MSN because we have no shame.
… Fuck this, I’m bored and I’ve got a meeting to go to anyway. You get the idea. These people – Little Mountain Homeopathy – are fully paid-up, card-carrying quacks. They even offer so-called Homeopathic Immunizations, which is pretty close to the ultimate in stupidity, and I’m being nice by assuming they actually believe their own deadly bullshit.
Acleron (@Acleron1)
14/02/2012 at 13:50
‘Therefore, the homeopath is most interested in what sets you apart from everyone else.’
Specifically, are you willing to be bull-shitted into paying real money for nothing?
Dr. Nancy Malik
14/02/2012 at 18:29
21 FAQ&A on homeopathy
http://drnancymalik.wordpress.com/article/faq-on-homeopathy/
(Finally, I’m letting this one through, even if it is basically just a link to her blog. I assume Ms. Malik is bright enough to know that this means she will be lampooned – AT)
sukhasanthi (@sukhasanthi)
15/02/2012 at 12:51
Impressive and interesting post.Thanks for sharing.
intoscience
15/02/2012 at 15:35
Too bad, Anarchic Teapot, that you have nothing better to do than to bash other people’s hard work and attempts to earn an honest living and to contribute to the world. Too bad you can’t turn your cynicism to things that really matter – reforming political systems, freeing political prisoners, exposing Monsanto and other destructive multinationals…..the list goes on.
I could spend some time editing your “edit” – aka slander – Little Mountain Homeopathy and her website. Like her, though, I am too busy trying to make livelihood.
On the editing front…..I take exception to your use of the handle ” anarchism”. As a former card – carrying member, I know that Anarchism is all about personal freedom. So, where does that square with attacking other people and their choices in health care ? And what REAL anarchist would line up with Big Pharma and the whole medical complex ? Anarchists are for OTHER solutions, the ones that don’t get funded by governments, medicines that don’t hurt, maim, and kill people like the ones Big Pharma is dishing out.
So, hey, stop picking on the little guys, you non – anarchist and leave us to the medicine we CHOOSE and pay out of pocket for because the STATE doesn’t recognize it.
majikthyse
15/02/2012 at 18:22
What a pity that some people choose personal abuse instead of scholarly debate.
captainelaboration
15/02/2012 at 18:43
In 2004, the then minister for health in France said 30,000 French doctors prescribed homeopathy.
See http://tempsreel.nouvelobs.com/social/20040910.OBS6665/douste-blazy-soutientl-homeopathie.html (in French)
mknash
15/02/2012 at 19:04
In 2009 there were approx 200,000 doctors in France: http://www.connexionfrance.com/doctor-numbers-in-decline-10649-news-article.html
30000 is around 15% … nest pas?
Mr Teapot is correct(ish) with his 14% estimate.
captainelaboration
16/02/2012 at 00:28
That looks right to me!
mknash
15/02/2012 at 19:00
Anarchists carry cards?
John
16/02/2012 at 18:08
Too bad, Anarchic Teapot, that you have nothing better to do than to bash (reveal) other people’s hard work and attempts (to bullshit others and fleece them from their hard earned money) to earn an honest living and to contribute to the world (of bullshit and woo). Too bad you can’t turn your cynicism to things that really matter – reforming political systems, freeing political prisoners, exposing Monsanto and other destructive multinationals…..the list goes on (or pointing out that pseudoscience does no good for people suffering from actual ailments).
I could spend some time editing your “edit” – aka slander (not really. but continue) – Little Mountain Homeopathy and her website. Like her, though, I am too busy trying to make livelihood (by fleecing people of their money or freeing political prisoners?).
On the editing front…..I take exception to your use of the handle ” anarchism”. As a former card – carrying member (anarchists carry cards? Sounds silly to me), I know that Anarchism is all about personal freedom. So, where does that square with attacking other people (providing an opposing viewpoint in an engaging and funny manner) and their choices in health care (I thought we were talking about Homeopathy)? And what REAL anarchist would line up with Big Pharma (“Real” anarchist? Is there a rule book?) and the whole medical complex ? Anarchists are for OTHER solutions (Again, I thought we were talking about homeopathy, not solutions. Unless the problem is getting people away from their money and actual medical treatment, in which case…bravo!), the ones that don’t get funded by governments, medicines that don’t hurt, maim, and kill people (or cure, remedy and otherwise make contributions to the health of others) like the ones Big Pharma is dishing out (mmmm…dish. I skipped breakfast. Most important meal of the day, you know).
So, hey, stop picking on the little guys, you non – anarchist and leave us to the medicine we CHOOSE and pay out of pocket for because the STATE doesn’t recognize it (can’t imagine why not…).
That was a delightful break in my day. Thanks.
Kimberly Chapman (@WriterCrafter)
16/02/2012 at 18:26
This is awesome with a hefty side helping of awesomesauce*. Don’t let the clueless get you down. Not that you likely were, just sayin’.
* Note that awesomesauce is also not an actual medicine, but does have the placebo effect of happymaking.
Bodhipaksa (@Bodhipaksa)
16/02/2012 at 18:37
“Homeopathy means ‘similar
medicinefeeling’” should be “Homeopathy means ‘similarmedicineillness’.” As in “PATHology” etc., the “path” suffix meaning suffering or illness in this context.anarchic teapot
18/02/2012 at 02:30
My translation is correct. The same root also occurs in words like ‘sympathy’ and ‘empathy’.. You are no doubt thinking of ‘pathology’.
skywiseunlimited
16/02/2012 at 18:46
Homeopathetic cure for depression; reading hilarious blogs like this.
Ron Lewis (@ScepticLetters)
16/02/2012 at 18:58
Too bad, Anarchic Teapot, that you have nothing better to do than to bash other people’s hard work and attempts to earn a dishonest living and to contribute to human suffering. Too bad you can’t turn your cynicism to things that really matter – reforming political systems, freeing political prisoners, exposing the real truth behind the 9/11 attacks and other New World Order conspiracies… the list goes on. (And on. And on. And on!)
I could spend some time editing your “edit” – aka MALICIOUS DISGUTING FILTHY LIBEL OF QUOTING AT LENGHT FROM A WEBSITE – against Little Mountain Homeopathy. Like her, thought, I am too busy trying to identify the MI6 agents who MURDERED Princess Diana in between writing Shakespeare’s plays.
On the editing front… I take exception to your use of the handle “teapot”. As a former card-carrying tea-drinking EnglishmAn (I emmigrated to Argentina some time ago to escape the neocolonialist pig-dog fascist Blairite/Browist/Cameronian government), I know that drinking tea is a traditional English custom that’s all about personal freedom. The freedom for an Englishman to sit in his home, his CASTLE dammit, and to exercise his God-given right as an Englishman to drink whatever tea he chooses.
So where does that square with attacking other people and their delusions about 19th century quackery? And what REAL tea drinker would line up with those evil scientists and the whole military-industrial-increasing-human-knowledge complex? Tea drinkers are for OTHER solutions, the ones that don’t get funded by Zionist conspiracies, medicines that don’t work like the one Big Pharma are not dishing out.
So, hey, stop picking on the stupid guys, you non-tea drinking bastard and leave us to the magical potions we CHOOSE and pay out of pocket for because the EVIL CAPITALIST NEW WORLD ORDER PSEUDO-GOVERNMENT doesn’t recognize it.
David Barrack (@grrlpowercomic)
18/02/2012 at 01:09
mknash
Anarchists carry cards?
Anarchists are well known for their rigid sense of organization and adherence to bureaucracy.