Image by AlicePopkorn via Flickr
Shall we start the month with a real humdinger of a loonsite? This lot, at Lightworkerschool.com, almost make the basic reiki crowd sound normal, but only because they sprinkle a bit of pre-apocalypse topping on your spirit guide waffle:
Are you being called to assist?
More and more people are experiencing ‘angel’ encounters and are relaying stories of how angels have appeared to them and/or helped them out of a situation. Angels are flocking to the planet, during these times of huge changes, and are making themselves readily available to everyone who calls upon them. The angels want to heal us from our challenges and to instil peace and love into our hearts, so that we can focus on our own life purpose. The angels wait patiently in the background waiting for us to ask for guidance and advice, to gently and lovingly lead us the right way…
Now, it may come as news to you that angels are all over the damn place – they probably don’t look a bit like Ben Affleck or Matt Damon – and setting up counselling services for the human race. I mean, it’s not as if beings of indeterminate gender with huge bloody wings and a tendency to glow with a sacred light wouldn’t stand out in a crowd. However, that is what these doughballs seem to think. I say “seem”, because with this sort of belief it’s always struck me as odd that, in order to experience these beings, you need to get special tuition from the enlightened. Did they sack Gabriel, the Bible’s resident OB/GYN, for malpractice? Some of those pregnancies were a little suspect, I must say. Has Metatron been outsourced? Did Michael retire in order to concentrate on selling that world-famous brand of cotton knickers?
But far be it from me to suggest that somebody started this with the sole idea of bamboozling the oranges – beg pardon: gullible, Twitter is especially surreal tonight – into ponying up for a course in talking to invisible, imaginary beings. And I certainly would never dream of implying that an ancient and highly-respected UK educational institution would hire out premises to accommodate the purveying of this batshittery…
Oh fuck it, I’m not fooling anyone, am I? Here’s the blurb that made me angry. Yes angry: after years of tireless campaigning by people possessed of both ethics and a brain, UK universities are shutting down their courses in pseudoscience, but shite like this is still seeping under the door. Oxford University may not be providing this ‘course’ but, by allowing their premises to be used, they are implicitly endorsing it.
The text includes a couple of extra links I found. Be warned, there is a huge amount of WTF lurking behind them. Unless your mind is trained to deal with whackjobbery of interstellar proportions, please ensure your lifeline is secure and your seatbelt attached before clicking. This will ensure your survival even if you black out temporarily from the G-forces they exert. ‘G’ as in ‘gormless’ and ‘gibbering’, that is.
Certificated Angel Energy Practitioner (AEP) Weekend
31st March – 1st April 2012
Oxford University, UK
This course is suitable if you are looking to make a connection and work with the angels and/or feel you are here to make a difference. You will learn how to communicate with the angels, plus enhance your intuition and natural healing abilities so that you can work with the angels to help yourself and others as a professional certificated Angel Energy Practitioner.
Led by world-renowned Angel Energy teacher Flavia Kate Peters, “during the Angel Energy Practioner weekend we will first work on removing and healing any blockages, in any form, you may have. You will then learn how to receive and recognise guidance and messages from your angels, as well as to learn how to work with angel energy to give healings for yourself and others.”
This course leads to a professional certification of Angel Energy Practitioner – so you can work as an AEP once qualified (see below for more details) – and is also suitable for those who wish to use the information given for personal use.
Flavia Kate Peters believes in angels, unicorns, mermaids and fairies (which she spells ‘faeries’, obviously). She offers attunements to all these mythical beings, plus reiki, crystals and really bad drawings. You’re going to love the course contents:
- Learn how to give angel readings
- Discover different ways you can easily receive the angels’ messages
- Angel healing methods
- Chakra clearing (sounds like a laxative)
- Psychic block clearing (is this ethereal plumbing?)
- Etheric cord cutting
- Psychic attack removal (some form of exorcism?)
- Psychic protection and shielding
- Room clearing and cleansing (probably exorcism again, rather than psychic housework. Pity, I need a cleaner who can fly high enough to get at the cobwebs)
- Meditation
- Channelling and automatic writing
- Learn about Archangels, elemental realms (faeries, unicorns etc) and how to connect with them (sounds like a twee role-playing game)
- Discover which ‘Realm’ you are from (pass the D10, would you, dear?)
And much more, including tips and guidance on how to start and run your own successful Angel Energy Practice.
Price: £400
You read that last bit right: after only two days’ instruction and after parting with four hundred quid, you can start your own business. It’s another of those MLM Enlightenment schemes. Even more worrying, initiates are referred to as Ascended Masters, among other titles. Can we say “cult”? I suspect we can.
I can only deduce from all this howling fuckwittery that either God does not exist, or else he doesn’t give a flying fart about an insignificant blue dot lost amid the yawning, dusty reaches of the Universe, because if that isn’t begging to be struck down with a thunderbolt I don’t know what is.
I found a few other sites (see below) that look like they’re peddling the same bollocks. If you examine them closely, you may spot the Get Rich Quick scheme. Me, I’m off to ask the angels if they can’t reroute a cosmic bus to take all these loonies away before they start screwing up any more lives.
Related articles
- To The Awakened. (messagesfromtheangels.wordpress.com)
- Angels, please guide me along my path… | RenamixTech (angelicwords.wordpress.com)
- RE: answering your question (angelladytm.wordpress.com)
- ♥Angelic Guidance Readings & Divine Light Blessing Healing♥ (angelslightworldwide.com)
AngelsLightWorldwide
01/02/2012 at 01:41
Please remove our blog page from your article ~ a derogatory and libelous claim against our spiritual practices ~
Aurora & Brian ~
I found a few other sites (see below) that look like they’re peddling the same bollocks. If you examine them closely, you may spot the Get Rich Quick scheme. Me, I’m off to ask the angels if they can’t reroute a cosmic bus to take all these loonies away before they start screwing up any more lives.
anarchic teapot
01/02/2012 at 10:04
Please indicate the statement which you believe to be libellous about your site.
AngelsLightWorldwide
01/02/2012 at 03:03
Also have sent link to this article and article to all sites mentioned…. you may wish to start writing your apology article published for the public to see as I am not alone in requiring you to do so with your accusations.
eveningperson
01/02/2012 at 11:29
Something an angel could sort out easily, surely? Maybe with a visitation to the blog’s author (they know where he lives).
If you send a lawyer instead, you’ll undermine your own case.
nucella
01/02/2012 at 11:42
Oh No! You’ve upset the angels. I’m looking forward to seeing St Michael in the libel court.
Distant Angel
01/02/2012 at 11:58
AngelsLightWorldwide … I am interested in your course, but have always been somewhat skeptical of claims similar to the ones you’ve made. I’m sure that I could be persuaded to part with £400 and sign-up, but I have a few questions/requests first:
1. Could you demonstrate the existence of angels, as well defining what you mean when you say “angel”. Could you also explain how one gives a “reading”, and what you mean by “reading”?
2. You mentioned the different ways one can “receive the angels’ messages” – do these include SMS text, MMS, or voice message and, if so, does it matter which network I’m on? Are there any additional charges on top of my normal network rate for communicating with the other side (kind of like roaming charges when you get on the ferry to France)?
3. Do I need to get a referral from my GP for the “angel healing” you talk about, or is it like a private thing where I just need to make an appointment directly? Would I be able to get any treatments on prescription? Would my partner be entitled to get them free, seeing as how he’s on Income Support?
4. What is a chakra, and why does it need clearing? Is it like the box room you keep all your junk in? How does one clear a chakra? Do you need to hire one of those foam cleaners, or do you have to get a man in?
5. What is “psychic block clearing” and how does it work? Is it the same as chakra clearing, only instead of just a spare room you get together with everyone in your street and tidy up your neighbourhood, like all those people with the brooms after the London riots? And is it called “psychic” because everyone just knows when its time to clean up the town?
6. Is “Etheric” a portmanteau name given to a child by trendy parents called Ethel and Eric? And why would I want to be present at his cord cutting? Surely that’s a private family moment?
7. I’m very interested in the “psychic attack removal” and “psychic protection and shielding”. I’ve had a lot of grief from a mad psychic over the last six months who reckons she’s in touch with John Lennon and Tupac Shakur, and she’s quite vile in the way she hurls homophobic remarks my way! How do go about removing her attacks? Is it like in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” where you get rid of unpleasant memories? And how does the protection work? Is it ear plugs and a loon-guard?
8. The “room clearing and cleansing” won’t be necessary for me; I’ve got a vacuum cleaner, a duster, some Mr Sheen, and a bottle of Febreze. Can I have a reduction on the course fee if we skip this?
9. Same question for “meditation”. I can sit quietly and think to myself at home, so I’d rather not pay to do it elsewhere when we could be learning something else, or even knock off early and spend the money saved on going to the pub.
10. Could you elaborate on “channelling” for me? I’ve got Virgin TiVo, and it’s REALLY good, there’s loads of channels (on the XL package), it’s got all the on demand stuff (4OD, iPlayer, etc.), and I can just record everything I want to watch anyway. I don’t know if I need more channels, really.
11. What’s this “automatic writing”? If you can show me a way to do all my writing without lifting a finger, that’d be brilliant! It does get a bit draining having to do 3000 words a week for my blog AND answer all of my emails and tweets as well. Is it like a secretary service? How many words per minute can I expect?
12. Will we get to meet any of the archangels, faeries, or unicorns? If not, how are we to “connect with them”? Will they be on Skype? What are the broadband speeds like in the elemental realms – are they fast enough for video chat?
13. I don’t know what you mean when you say “discover which ‘Realm’ you are from”. My nan used to read “Women’s Realm”, but I don’t recall their being a “Man’s Realm” … I don’t read many magazines these days, will that count against my ability to pass the course?
Thank you in advance for your response! I’m sure you’ll have no difficulty answering my questions offering, as you do, a course that covers subjects for which there is plenty of support in the form of empirical evidence derived through rigourous scientific research. I’ll get my cheque book ready!
anarchic teapot
01/02/2012 at 23:34
To be fair, those are Lightworker’s claims. As AngelsLightWorldwide points out, their services are quite different: http://angelslightworldwide.com/about/
I particularly liked “Angelic Crystal Divination by email $30.00 or 50.00 for 2″
Distant Angel
02/02/2012 at 10:13
Good point … in which case, Lightworker, that extremely sarcastic and amusing, yet quite pertinent set of questions is for you then. Care to answer any of them?
Obviously I don’t mind waiting until you’ve demonstrated exactly how Anarchic Teapot’s article breaches your copyright and doesn’t fall under the fair use provision as a piece of legitimate criticism …
Acleron (@Acleron1)
01/02/2012 at 17:29
So much richness in the alternative to reality. If these guys spent as much effort doing a proper job, they would do very well.
Particularly toothsome from the loons above is ‘Ignition of personal Sacred Heart.’ . But I must know, is this stuffed heart?
But it is so distressing that so many people are unaware of the Streisand Effect.
Lightworker Magazine (@lightworkermag)
01/02/2012 at 19:21
http://lightworkerschool.com/Privacy.html As you can see, this blog infringes the copyright of our website(s). If you do not remove this post (and all associated posts) within 3 days it shall be reported to WordPress.com as per their complaints procedure and copyright rules http://automattic.com/dmca/
anarchic teapot
01/02/2012 at 19:29
Fair use invoked. I would also remind you that this is an extract of a single web page and is also public information. The article includes a link to your site. You are therefore being credited with the text. In fact, I’ll make it even clearer.
Lightworker Magazine (@lightworkermag)
01/02/2012 at 19:37
“Copying complete Lightworker School content on another web domain, even in a frame window, or otherwise, or copying to print is prohibited and in violation of copyright law and this notification.” Please delete this blog post and associated posts within 3 days, otherwise – as stated – it shall be reported to WordPress.com.
anarchic teapot
01/02/2012 at 19:57
Please specify the country whose law you are referring to.
You will also see – if you actually bothered to check – that I have not “copied complete content”..
Once again: I contend that the article falls under the definition of Fair Use, to which one might conceivably add the concept of free speech, enshrined in law in many countries.
Lightworker Magazine (@lightworkermag)
01/02/2012 at 19:49
Plus, “Please do not use the material or photographs published for Lightworker School or on the websites without contacting us first. All photography, anything with our logo on it and all written works are specifically copyrighted by Lightworker Magazine and Lightworker School”. It is very clear, and WordPress.com will be contacted if the posts are not removed within 3 days.
eveningperson
02/02/2012 at 00:24
Look up “Streisand Effect”. It’s faster and more effective than a host of angels.
AngelsLightWorldwide
01/02/2012 at 22:33
There is so much LIBEL in your article ~ including FALSE ACCUSATIONS pointed out by a solicitor/ attorney
anarchic teapot
01/02/2012 at 22:37
I am sorry, but you must provide details for your claim to be considered as anything other than a frivolous attempt at intimidation.
I have received no formal communication from any member of any legal profession.
AngelsLightWorldwide
01/02/2012 at 22:37
Remove your reference to our blog immediately ~ your printed false information and false accusation has led to further accusation by several other Word Press users ~ as exhibited by their comments in as so much as one has confused our mere donation and gifted services with another 400.00 service/course from Oxford University ~ yes they have been notified as well.
Ron Lewis (@ScepticLetters)
01/02/2012 at 22:56
Hey, Lightworker Magazine, my profound sympathies. How DARE those pesky sceptics breach your copyright!
Look, they’re all at it:
http://scepticalletterwriter.blogspot.com/2012/02/rachel-willis-conduit-of-ascended.html
Cal Bryant (@oddsocket)
01/02/2012 at 23:35
Notice that none of them will even admit that there’s a fair-use clause in most western countries’ copyright legislation, set there for the purposes of parody, critique and plain ridicule.
Notice that none of them will spell our the specific sentences that they believe to be libellous.
If these shitheads did manage to convince WordPress.com to put pressure on this blog, it would just end up being self hosted a fiver later, hollow, empty threats.
I despise these barely-literate homunculi who bump their gums about *angels* and *energy*. Just how much ‘energy’ is in an angel anyway? A lumberg? Two therms? Pah.
draust
02/02/2012 at 01:07
It might also be worth, if you haven’t already, pointing out to Oxford University just who they are renting space to – and (in particular) how said people react to criticism.
anarchic teapot
02/02/2012 at 14:41
The course is now being held at The Wellbeing Centre, Newbury, UK, according to Flavia Kate Peters’s site.
For some reason I cannot fathom, lightworkerschool.com appears to have been taken down.
eveningperson
02/02/2012 at 10:47
You’d think that these people would jump at the chance to explain to a bunch of sceptics how they know that angels exist and can do all these things. Just think of the fantastic publicity when Anarchic Teapot converts to Angel Teapot!
But no, they go the well-worn (and self-defeating) route of claiming “libel” and “copyright infringment”.
Which makes me think… what? That all they are concerned about is the income from selling “courses” at £400 and “readings” at £75 a go to the credulous.
Lightworker Magazine (@lightworkermag)
02/02/2012 at 11:21
We have chosen to remove the site because we did not want the energies of this blog – and its ‘fair use’ – connected to anything associated with us. We wish you all the best for the future and your journey ahead.
eveningperson
02/02/2012 at 12:09
Rachel Willis (behind Lightworker magazine) appears to have several sites, and rachelwillis.com and foodintuitive.com are still up.
She appears to be claiming to be able to do “intuitive” diagnosis of food intolerance, and to cure irritable bowel syndrome and help people lose weight. She can tell you “how your unique body needs you to eat”. She can “‘read’ your bodily blueprint wherever you are in the world. This is because energy travels, and psychic energy tunes into frequency not form.” Anecdotal evidence only, as far as I can see. A sort of remote nutritional therapy?
I can offer readings too, free of charge. “Just cut down on those calories…”
eveningperson
02/02/2012 at 12:21
Even worse, Rachel Willis is apparently involved in advising on hiring people:
http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/public/Appointments/article630536.ece
I don’t have time to follow this up right now, but it looks as if she has her fingers in a lot of pies. It’s frightening that the Sunday Times and businesses appear to take this flim-flam seriously!
anarchic teapot
02/02/2012 at 13:20
It’s her. Unfortunately you need to be a paid subscriber to comment, but that’s Murdochism for you.
Interesting that she used to work in a Big Four office as a chartered accountant. She should be far better at interpreting the law than she appears to be (unless, of course, this takedown threat is merely frivolous intimidation filled to the gunwhales with negative energies).
Ron Lewis (@ScepticLetters)
02/02/2012 at 13:44
ASA complaint goes in – websites go down 15 hours later. It’s a very fast turnaround these days, eh?
By the way, that psychic CEO business perhaps wasn’t a roaring success. Their website is already down.
psychicceo.co.uk
For anyone feeling jealous that I got an ASA complaint in first; here’s another website, as yet untouched.
http://www.wendybramham.co.uk/rachel-willis-holistic-health.html
From this page, we get this brilliant description of the Chosen One of The Ascended Masters:
“Rachel comes from a corporate background having been a tax accountant for a Big 4 Firm for many years, and has a first class honours degree in economics and finance. Her direct, no-frills manner counter-balances her remarkable intuitive gifts. There’s no woo-woo, magic or incense burning here, just a concise insightful information flow.”
Rachel Willis
02/02/2012 at 15:33
If you want to contact me directly to discuss your concerns, statements and fears then you are welcome to. Email addresses are on the sites.
josephinejones
02/02/2012 at 16:48
People get very upset when you ridicule their religious beliefs. Yes – according to the NHS, ‘Lightworker’ is a religion:
http://www.isb.nhs.uk/documents/dscn/dscn2009/dataset/132009v1_1.pdf