Old homeopathic remedy, Hepar sulph. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
So the UK’s Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) has decided to review and consolidate legislation on medicines in the UK, with the stated aim of making the whole thing simpler to wade through. A laudable aim, and one that more lawsmiths should bear in mind. I recall my law tutor at Stirling University commencing his dissection of a newly-passed Act with “The primary aim of the legislators in drafting this law was to make it as complex and incomprehensible as possible, and in this they succeeded admirably.”
Tidying up a legal framework and ironing out consistencies is a good idea. Of course, when that happens there’s also the temptation to actually remove loopholes in the existing law, and that’s when the squawking starts. Those who’ve exploited loopholes, or quietly got on with illegal activities that were largely ignored because the texts weren’t sufficiently clear, generally don’t like it when the smokescreen is lifted.
Your access to homeopathic medicines is under threat!
screams the headline. We’ll let the ‘medicines’ misnomer pass for now. so what are these dingbats wetting their panties over? Well, they reckon:
If the current proposals by the MHRA are endorsed by government the following would occur:
- You would no longer able to get homeopathic medicines by phone or online
(…)
- Homeopaths would not be able to dispense or prescribe medicines to you
(…)
- You would have to get your homeopathic medicines personally at a handful of licenced (sic) homeopathic pharmacies in Britain
(…)
I’m not going to dissect this, because Andy Lewis has already done so with his usual efficiency over at The Quackometer. Go read the article, it’s good stuff and there are a number of very pertinent comments, especially by the inimitable Warhelmet, whose own blog is alas no more. Briefly, the upshot is that the current situation, where anybody can set up as a homeopath and make their own magic water and sugar pills, would cease to be. And the hotbeds of whackjobbery that supply the basic ingredients of lactose tabs and water dropper bottles to these lunatics would lose a huge chunk of revenue as well. An example? Step forward Ainsworths, suppliers of weapons-grade WTF to HRH the Prince of Wales.
Anyway, I reckon what they should have been squealing about is this, re registration of homeopathic products:
95.—(1) This Part applies to a homoeopathic medicinal product (a “registrable homoeopathic medicinal product”) that meets the following conditions.
(2) Condition A is that the product is administered orally or externally.
Which presumably rules out nose drops, suppositories and injectable anthroposophical crap. But the next one is a real beaut:
(3) Condition B is that no specific therapeutic indication appears—
(a) on the labelling of the product; or
(b) in any information supplied with the product.
This means that if they want to be able to register a homeopathic remedy – presumably limited to pills, syrups, eye drops and creams – they cannot in fact make any claims of therapeutic benefit whatsoever. I don’t suppose it’ll stop the bastards doing it anyway; after all, it is already illegal to sell unlicensed homeopathic remedies in the UK, so they’re not going to be any more in breach of the law than before, at least on that score. What this might conceivably do, though, is make it a damn sight easier to point PC Plod in the general direction of homeopaths making their usual outrageous claims and get them arrested for practising medicine without a licence.
So our concerned homeopaths – who include Ainsworths and Helios – have set up a campaign to preserve their licence to print money:
Homeopathy Action Trust is the membership charity that supports public understanding of homeopathy, for the benefit of patients, students and practitioners alike.
Come off it: homeopaths don’t have patients. At best, they have clients. Now then, you may be chuckling in anticipation at the “supports public understanding” part, and well you might. Homeopaths have a remarkable propensity for shooting themselves in the foot. Before we move on to their mission statement, which was the real motivation behind today’s post, let’s all gaze in wonder upon this extract from their Terms and Conditions:
You may link to our home page, provided you do so in a way that is fair and legal and does not damage our reputation or take advantage of it
Fair and legal linking? Not quite sure what unfair or illegal linking might be, nor, to be blunt, what you could do about it if it existed. Damaging your reputation? How the fuck could anyone damage your reputation as professional homeopaths any more than you already do every time you open your mouths or put fingers to keyboard? As for taking advantage of said reputation: take a fresh YOU WISH every hour on the hour until you fully grasp the total fuckwitted impossibility of the magic cult you call homeopathy.
The T&Cs also stipulate – you’ll love this -
If you print off, copy or download any part of our site in breach of these terms of use, your right to use our site will cease immediately and you must, at our option, return or destroy any copies of the materials you have made.
They intend to enforce this how, exactly? Look guys, here’s a nice Fair Use flag for you to study. If ‘Fair Use’ is too hard for you to understand, just take the initial letters; the end result is the same. Let’s rip.
Our Vision, Mission and Values
Our Vision
A world in which homeopathy is universally accepted as a potent part of everyday life, in a society that promotes and protects choice in healthcare. A society that treats patients, practitioners and students of homeopathy fairly, positively and with respect.
Yes, yes, very nice. It’s their vision, let them dream. I’ll merely point out in passing that homeopathy is not part of healthcare and should never be, since is it merely an elaborate placebo. Also, respect is earned. Wittering on about miasms and dreams and quantum and nanoparticles and magical water memory won’t earn you any respect at all, astounding as that may seem. Anyway, here comes the priceless part:
Our Mission
To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before?
To secure a vibrant future for homeopathy by:
Close. Nice play with “vibrant” there.
increasing awareness of homeopathy as a valid and effective healthcare option
It’s actually only valid if you opt not to have healthcare and, um, not effective for anything.
promoting education and research
providing information and support to patients, students and practitioners
That might be a wee bit counterproductive, you realise? Or am I being impertinent by assuming you mean honest, truthful and unbiased information? Feel free to put me straight on this.
galvanising and unifying the homeopathic community
I assume they mean ‘stimulate into action’ rather than ‘coat with a thin layer of zinc’. Galvanised homeopaths, eh? As long as they’re not lurching around the place like Frankenstein’s monster.
fostering a culture of clarity, openness, inclusivity and altruism
Clarity and openness? See my remarks on education and information above. If you can’t be arsed to refer to my previous remarks, consign under “I should fucking coco” and read on. I’ll believe the ‘altruism’ schtick when homeopaths stop trying to push fake medicines and potentially lethal philosophies on other people.
Our Values
Independence
Our independent status ensures integrity and politic-free, uncompromised activity
“Politic-free”, you will observe. Most intriguing. How in the name of sweet loving fuck do they reconcile this claim with the fact that this is an activist organisation set up to lobby MPs?
Clarity
The promotion of jargon-free, clear communication of homeopathy and its benefits
Ah. You’re going to have a problem with that one as well. Explain homeopathy clearly and without using pseudoscientific jargon to somebody with half an ounce of sense, and they’ll likely be wrestling you into a straitjacket before you can say “succussion”. On the plus side: the benefits are quickly and easily explained, since the only benefit is to your sales figures.
Determination
We will not cease in supporting activity that defends the legitimacy of homeopathy as a valid medical modality
You can fight ‘em on the beaches etc. as much as you damn well please, but you’d better be fighting with solid scientific evidence that homeopathy has at least as much medical value as real medicine. Don’t get too emotionally invested because, just between you and me, after over 200 years of not a shred of reliable evidence, it’s not looking too good.
Inspiration
Acknowledgement of the passion and enthusiasm that practitioners inspire in patients and students
Nah, that’s not inspiration, that’s indoctrination. Or maybe personality cult. That Hahnemann.guy has certainly been given guru status. In any case, that’s more evangelical church than medical. Not helping your case.
There’s a bit about collaboration, which just means “trying to recruit as many homeopaths as possible”. Then we get to the final juicy cherry on this over-egged cake of Stupid:
Responsibility
All our activity is underpinned by the practical and ecological efficiencies demanded of conscientious and responsible organisations
Look, Sunny Jim: a genuinely “conscientious and responsible organisation” wouldn’t be promoting homoe-fucking-opathy. If you were ecological, you wouldn’t be wasting good water or using vast quantities of mass-produced pilules made from animal protein.
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